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Monday, 01 Sep 2014
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Ugly Cars: Karma Slaps Back

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Karma Slaps Back
We at THMotorsports received this email, which had us rolling on the floor!
Dear THM,
I’m a huge fan of your “Dumb & Delirious section and have sent you many of my own photos that you’ve published on the site. But I’ve had my own D&D experience, here’s my story:   The saying, "What comes around, goes around." always holds true and man-oh-man, why did it have to come true through the pages of Dumb &Delirious? The story is a classic, but of course the car involved is a little less than classic.

It was a week day night and I was cordially invited out for my birthday by a good friend of mine. What could be better than good friends, great sangria ( 1 pitcher ea.), and great Latin music and being single? I can tell you that; enter into the equation one beautiful woman! As the fun and the night wore on there emerged a woman with the most adorable smile I had seen in a long time. The kind that makes you grin from ear to ear. I could feel her eyes following me from time to time. Us men need to build up some courage and as it peaked, I jumped into action. I strolled her way and asked her to dance. With a nod she accepted and we proceeded to the dance floor. It seemed like everyone was watching as she was easily the most beautiful woman on the dance floor and I was obviously the luckiest man alive. Yeah, I have some Cumbia moves, but I'm no Don Juan, but that didn't seem to matter to her as her smile captivated me. The night ended with us exchanging phone numbers and talking about a lunch date.

Two days later I whisked my car back into shape by cleaning her it and washing it down. After a nasty winter it finally looked comfortable to be in again. Time was starting to crunch as our 12:30pm lunch date was closing in. I hurried to our lunch location and pranced to the door and wandered in. I heard her name behind me as I glimpsed around for her. I turned around and saw her warm smile. We hugged and soon headed to our seat. Our waitress gave us menus and took our drink orders, but it was soon obvious that our conversation and smiles were the only things that would be fed to each other on our lunch. The conversation and connection were through the roof. Now, I've been on some lunch dates and not one of them have ever made a connection or come to a conclusion like this one! It was obvious there were some sparks there. She admitted to me that if I had passed by her one more time that night, that she was going to grab me and asked me to dance. She beat me to the punch. Our time had wound down on our lunch date after a stout 2 1/2 hours of conversation. So we decided to leave.

I opened the door for her and walked to the parking lot. I asked her where her car was and there was one lying in our path. I prayed it was not hers. In our path sat a 1998 Honda Accord, 4DR with a hideously painted body kit with cracks abounding it from all angles along with a white dash, and an ugly interior. And the saying goes, "Karma is a b#t%h" I was immediately thrown into a situation where the very fabrics of my morals were being challenged. Girl, car, girl, car..... Me being the man that I am (compassionate, understanding) chose to look the other way and have now gone on my second date with her.

auto shift knobBut wait, it gets dumber… before our second date, my car decides to overheat and I am forced to ask her to drive, which she does. We arrive at our destination and we encounter a parking space that some women feel intimidated to scrunch into, so I ask her if she’d like me to back the car in. She agrees and I proceed to the drivers side of the car. I look down at the shifter and attempt to put the stick shift into reverse. For some odd reason, I can’t get it into reverse, so I ask her where reverse is. She says, “Down two” What? This isn’t stick shift? It was even outfitted with a look-a-like stick shift. Silly me, I should have known that there was no clutch pedal. She laughed, I cried.

Now, you may be asking yourself, “So, are you still dating her?” I may be dumb from time to time, but being delirious would have been not dating her because of her car. She's truly a gem even if her car isn’t.

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